the morrow

You may want to space out your paragraphs for easier readability.

‘You’re a freak, nature girl!’ They spat, ‘You don’t belong here, and you never will.’ The "t" in "They" should be lowercase. Also, why do you use single quotations (')instead ...

Considering what is scientifically known about the nature of the brain, the mind cannot construct perception without stimuli. That said, there must be an objective world from which stimuli originate. ...

Excellent piece of writing. Flawless spelling and grammar, of course. The pacing is adept. Mikhail's handing of his cigarette is expressed well. It is almost as if the scene plays ...

Northern makes four school shootings this week. In addition to that, there were numerous shopping mall shootings, and, of course, isolated homicides that nobody ever hears about. As youth, it ...

Veiled Soul Contents Scene 1-- Scene 2-- you are here Author's note: Forgive the disgusting lateness of this piece. Enjoy! :D ******************** Fortunately for me, Onari Seven was a popular ...

When they gave it to her, she cooed and laughed as it ate; its little hands kneading at her breast. Don’t use a semicolon where a comma will suffice. I ...

I enjoyed this piece, GryphonFledgling. I generally agree with what PenguinAttack had to say; your characterization is effective, but the technical aspect detracts from everything. The dense explanato

It's not easy to base a story on a movie while removing the movie's central premise. Have you considered writing something more original? Not that I'm against fan fiction--you may ...

As for this evaluation, keep in mind that I do not know what this essay is for. Just as we have seen many changes in the past century, people can ...

It is a solid opening. Diverse diction and syntax. The writing is engaging. You may note, however, that the general pattern insofar is: [long paragraph] [one or two separated, short, ...

He felt himself involuntarily tremble An odd sentence to begin with. This sentence structure usually incorporates an adjective instead of a verb (tremble). Somehow, there are two verbs (felt and ...

Revive! Buwahahhaa To be forced to hide in a humans shadow and only be of use when called. Watch for wordiness. Yet, Midna couldn't find herself to mind. Sounds strained. ...

Like SeraphTree said, please space out your paragraphs.

Hovering on a thermal, the black bird surveyed the dusty ruins. For a first sentence, this sounds somewhat primitive--"The [adjective] [noun] [verb] the [adjective] [noun]" structure is something foun